I’d better not do what I did last year at Christmas. I bought my wife a new bag. I thought she’d be really pleased but it was a gift that seemed to annoy her somehow. “But the Vacuum cleaner works like new again” I protested but sadly it didn’t get me anywhere and I had to promise to do better this Christmas. She likes Toast and orange juice for breakfast so I thought of getting her a Dualit Vario 2 Slice Classic White Toaster 20248…a purchase I found, strangely enough, at Edwardes Bros, electrical wholesalers that I use regularly. It’s a lovely thing and an item that is really too decadent to buy for yourself, luxury like that should only ever be received as a gift really. Strangely, until I started looking properly I had always thought that Dualit was an Italian company. I have no idea why but I expect it is to do with the very stylish design which looks like an Italian version of Art Deco to me. That is probably complete nonsense but it had me fooled for years.

If was buying for myself something I would really like is an automatic Garage Door opener. I can’t remember the last time I actually put the car in the garage, probably because I don’t think I ever have, but what a thing to impress the neighbours and they only cost a couple of hundred quid. It would look brilliant when I came home from work on my bike and I just waved my remote control about, the garage door would open like an Aladdin’s cave and I could just ride the bike straight in. Brilliant! I’d even have an excuse for buying a new saddle bag to keep the remote in. Oh yes, get in!

I know, I know. I’m not taking Christmas seriously (again) but if you can’t have fun at Christmas when can you?